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Each year I make bold New Years resolutions, only to break them within a few days. So this year, I am setting a few short term goals which I firmly believe I can achieve. Each of my resolutions only needs to last through the end of the New Years Party. So here they are, what do you think?

I resolve not to be the one wearing the lamp shade on my head halfway through the evening.

I resolve not to get trapped between the two most long winded and boring people at the party, pretending to be interested while they regale me with endless stories of their last vacation to Hoboken or Winnemucca.

I resolve not to stand in the corner making catty comments to myself about the "oh I'm attractive and I know it" girl who plays with the boys like a kitten plays with a ball of yarn.

I resolve not to wear anything white to the party. No matter how good it looks, it's all for nothing after the boss's clumsy nephew spills his entire glass of Cabernet all over you.

I resolve not to get into ANY political discussions at the party. While I know enough to get angry about the current state of politics, I don't really know enough to have an intelligent conversation about it.

I resolve not to touch the Stereo, no matter how many times someone plays Staying Alive, Love Shack or YMCA.

I resolve not to stake out a permanent spot next to the Chips and Onion Dip. This year I will simply "dip once and end it"!

I resolve not to overstay my welcome at the party. When the hosts head for bed, I am outta there!

I resolve to remember to lock BOTH bathroom doors! After last year's unfortunate and embarrassing incident, locking only one is clearly not enough!

I resolve, should I be asked, not to give out a phony phone number. I will give a real phone number of someone I don't like instead.

I resolve not to tell people I drive a Tesla, when I actually drive a 1991 Plymouth Fiero, even though they do look remarkably alike.

I resolve not to laugh at inappropriate jokes, no matter how funny they may be. I will frown disapprovingly, and try not to let on that inside I'm giggling like a ten year old.

I resolve not to get into lengthy arguments about whose team is better. We already know mine is.

Finally, I resolve to...Oh, who am I kidding. We all know I'm going to break those resolutions, plus a few more. But hey, it's New Years! I'll have the whole rest of the year to apologize for my behavior!

Great products, great prices, and living life one resolution at a time!

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